Updated: Feb 5
There are several reasons why people delay their divorce. The reason could be financial, kids, religious, fear and so on. At the end of it all, you could be harming yourself or your children by continuing to stay in an unhealthy environment for you and your children. At most times, taking the step may be very difficult but is necessary to start your recovery process. Here are the most common reasons why people delay a divorce:
For The Sake of The Kids
Kids has long been the reason why most people stay in an unhappy and stormy marriage. In contrast, children suffer mentally, emotionally and physically with a mother and father that loves them BUT resents each other. Studies show that children are better off raised by a single parent as opposed to living with married parents who engage in constant conflict.
Divorce has an unsettling effect on young children as an immediate consequence of it, however, establishing new routines restores familiarity and security which reassures the child/children that their parents are the same loving and committed parents as they were before the divorce.
Maybe you want to wait until you are in a better financial position, but the truth of the matter is, there's never going to be a right time financially to dissolve your marriage. One does not acquire property or invest in retirement with plans to give up half of it because it's what the Florida Law dictates during divorce. You may not be able to stop having to divide what you acquired, but you can control when to stop the division of assets and liabilities. For more information about division of assets and liabilities:
Therapy as the Last Resort
Oftentimes, spouses want to find that spark again that made them want to marry the other in the first place, and they see the Therapist as the last resort to save their marriage. Unfortunately, the mentality of seeing a therapist as the last resort now becomes the psychological prologue for the inevitable, Divorce, instead of seeking therapy as remedy. In most cases, the anger, resentment and distrust are already so deep and the gap between the couple is so wide, that one foot is already out the door, and agreeing to therapy is just a way of going through the motions to pacify the other. The point here is, the earlier you go to therapy, the better chances of success you are going to have in saving your marriage. The deeper the resentment, anger and distrust you harbored against your spouse, the harder it is to fully give yourself back into the marriage.
Fear of Being Alone
The prospect of being alone and not knowing what the future might hold is fearful and paralyzing, that suddenly your current miserable situation becomes comforting because its familiar. Experience has thought so many people, that if you find yourself unable to make that leap to make the change because of fear, you should envision yourself stuck in the same situation 5-10-15 years in the future. And if the vision of being in the same situation when you're older, scares you more, then maybe you should: 1) try to identify your fears and ways to overcome them, 2) set a goal and how to achieve that goal, 3) surround yourself with positive people that will hold you accountable towards your goal, and 4) Never allow yourself to make excuses as to why you should stop.
Is There Ever a Good Time to Divorce?
No one goes into a marriage planning on divorce, but it is in fact an event that happens to thousands of Americans every year. The good or better time to Divorce all depends on ones readiness - emotionally, physically and psychologically to take a step forward.
The good news is that the professional at TriDialogue Mediation is here to walk you through your available options to go through the process. You may send us an email at :
email@example.com or call 772-226-7112 for location near you or information about meeting online.